That's intense
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
