I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
