I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
