my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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