our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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