Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
