before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
