I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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