I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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