Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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