Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
