we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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