so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your penis caused this!
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