Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
