Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
