I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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