3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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