bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
