My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
