"it" just moved
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
