Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's Friday. Sex?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
