Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
