I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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