I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize