put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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