my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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