I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
