Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
