I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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