Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
