whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
