bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
