I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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