Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
