If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
