I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize