Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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