Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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