You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
