this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
