we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You took a bar mat shot.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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