the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
