Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
