I just saw a hot homeless man
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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