i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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