wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
