i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
