Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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