Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
