would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
