I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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