Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
