I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
