Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
