So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
