I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
