I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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