he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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