you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
