Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize