do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize